Film 30/365, Day 30/365 – Under Siege

When a group of terrorist take over a battle ship they think they have accounted for ever eventuality. But somebody forgot about the chef! And he’s not just any old chef either, he’s Steven Seagal! Under Siege was the first video I bought with my own money, earned from my paper round, and it wasn’t just because Erika Eleniak pops out of a cake topless…

Under Siege is still as good as I remember, and possibly one of my favourite Steven Seagal films. The action is great, not really too much more to say about it though. This is how they used to make them, just one simple concept and then let the action hero plus stunning babe solve the problem, whilst being hopelessly outnumber and outgunned. Good Stuff.

Film 29/365, Day 29/365 – The Switch

Several years ago Cassie put Wally in the friend zone. Then when she told him that she wanted a baby and had found a guy who was willing to assist in the procedure, although not in the conventional way! Well Wally didn’t handle the news too well and at Cassie’s pregnancy party (I know really) he got very drunk and in a moment of madness found himself switching the donation for his own. Unaware of the switch Cassie moved away to raise her child in a more suitable environment. Now, some seven years later, she has moved back and Wally is only just remembering what he did that night.

The Switch was a nice film with a nice story, if a little strange at times. It’s definitely one to watch with the misses. There are some funny moments, mostly thanks to Jeff Goldblum who is brilliant. It’s ok if you’re looking for a chick flick but if you’re not then I wouldn’t worry, there are much funnier films available.

Film 28/365, Day 28/365 – 28 Days Later

Jim wakes from a coma to find himself alone in the hospital. It’s not long before he discovers that he may be alone in London… Unfortunately for Jim he’s not and he’s going to have to adapt quickly. He soon finds himself fleeing from a group of infected Londoners who seem to want to eat him. Luckily Jim finds a group of survivers and joins with them. But how long can they stay alive when?

Danny Boyle is one of my absolute favourite directors; he just cannot get it wrong. 28 Days Later has some fantastic moments, notably the images of an abandoned London. The pace of the film is exhilarating to say the least, packed full of non stop action. I am a massive fan of zombie films and whilst these technically aren’t zombies I will let Danny get away with it because it’s just brilliant. Oh and the soundtrack is incredible.

Film 27/365, Day 28/365 – Fire and Ice

Fire and Ice is the story of Larn, he looks a little like a toned down version of He-Man with a plated pony tail. Soon into the film we meet the heroine in the shapely form of Teegra, princess of the kingdom of Fire. Larn’s village is attacked by the kingdom of Ice and he is the only survivor. Teegra is kidnapped byt he kingdom of ice and soon crosses paths with Larn. Can Larn keep Teegra safe?

If you have seen Fritz the Cat or Wizards you will know that this is not an animated movie for kids, and if you haven’t well now you do. This film was created in 1982 and whilst the animation may look a little dated the motion of the characters is still very fluid. By today’s animation standards it is quite dated and the story is very simplistic but it is still quite enjoyable and worth watching if you get a chance.

Film 26/365, Day 28/365 – Black Sheep

New Zealand has produced some very bizarre horror movies and Black Sheep is no exception. When thinking of what creatures to use in a horror film, I’m sure that very few would have chosen the lowly sheep. However given the overwhelming abundance of sheep in New Zealand, outnumber people roughly 8 to 1, it could be quite a terrifying proposition. So when two animal rights activists unwittingly release a discarded mutant sheep embryo it quickly infects the remaining flock. They must now try to survive the endless onslaught of mutant ravenous sheep. Watch out for the infected humans, Were-sheep!

Black Sheep isn’t the greatest film in the world, but what were you expecting. What you should be expecting however is a number of hilarious sheep attacks. Not to mention the sheep calmly grazing on the entrails of their victims and some very odd animal husbandry practices!  You will not be disappointed.

Film 25/365, Day 27/365 – Alphaville

Alphaville is a city on a planet in a distant galaxy run by a super computer, Alpha 60. The city is run and controlled completely by logic, emotion and feelings are outlawed. Lemmy Caution, an American private-eye has been sent there to locate a colleague and either bring back or execute the man behind Alpha 60.

First thing I should point out about Alphaville is that it is very old, 1965 to be exact. The story is overly complicated and if I’m honest fairly poorly layed out. The use of overly dramatic music at places where it shouldn’t be used is a constant annoyance throughout. Basically Alphaville was boring and did very little to keep me interested, also I found it very hard to care about any of the characters.

Film 24/365, Day 25/365 – Bitch Slap

Here we go again, more B movie madness… and yet I quite enjoyed it and I’m not sure why. The camera work is fantastically hilarious, you’d think the cameraman (it has to be a man) had never seen a woman.

The story follows three buxom beauties trying to steel diamonds from a gangster. The opening scene tells you enough about this film as to decide whether you’ll enjoy it or not. If the split screen, breast and legs, shots of the girls getting out of their car doesn’t intrigue you then turn it off and walk away… You still here, thought so. It is a B movie so don’t expect an intelligent script or great acting, it does enough to get you from A to B and really it’s all about the girls. There is a bit of a twist at the end, as we finally uncover the full story of each of the girls, but it’s no Usual Suspects.

If you like B movies then this will be a refreshing change, if you like tough chicks in tight clothing then watch it now. If not, like I said you probably won’t make it past the opening scene.

Film 23/365, Day 23/365 – Eraser

When it comes to witness protection Us Marshal John Kruger is the best there is. But even he is going to have a hard time protecting his latest assignment. She is the lead witness in a case against a large weapons manufacturer who has some questionable customers. They’ve got all the latest state of the art weaponry and a couple of US Marshals on their payroll.

If you've ever seen an Arnie film then you will know exactly what to expect from Eraser, if not, well, where have you been? Eraser is packed full of non-stop action, big guns and cheesy lines. It isn't close to being one of his best but still worth watching if you enjoy your action films.

Film 22/365, Day 23/365 – Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus

Shame on you! The only saving grace for this film was that I didn’t pay anything to watch it, unlike the fifty or so people who helped to amas an opening weekend return of £433. This is absolutly the worst film I have ever seen, I found myself watching the clock hoping for the end about twenty minutes in.

I’m sure you’ll be saying “What did you expect!”, but let me just let you in on one of my guilty pleasures, I love rediculous monster movies and I always have time for a bit of gratuitous nonsense. This film however did not deliver one single redeeming moment. The story was worse than rubish, the acting, if you can call it that, wouldn’t have looked out of place in a primary school nativity play. The single biggest flaw with Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus was that it took itself too seriously.

Film 21/365, Day 23/365 – Slither

Deer hunting season has just begun, but a small meteor crashes into the nearby woods and will very much change the focus of the hunt. Local nobody Grant Grant, that is his name, finds the meteor and a strange pick blob like creature. The creature shoots a dart into Grant and takes over his brain. The creature sets about its plan of destroying all life on earth with the help of Grant’s body and the others that he claims with the help of its small pink worm-like offspring!

Slither is hilarious and very well done. The characters are as believable as they come, the hero even falls over a fence as he tries to jump over it. It’s a very simple plot, but then you’ll be here for the parasytic worm monsters, the zombies that they turn the people into, oh and you won’t believe where the worms came from! Now you’ve got to watch it to find out.

Film 20/365, Day 20/365 – Without a Paddle

Three friends that were inseperable as children, but have drifted apart since entering adult life, discover that the fourth member of the group has died. They meet at the funeral and begin to recall their youth. In memory of their friend they agree to go on a trip to discover the treasure that the now dead member of the group had been obssessed with. Will they find the the treasure or discover something much more or will they just be up shit creek without a paddle?

Without a Paddle is a fun film with plenty to laugh at. The main strength of the film is the bond between the three main actors Matthew Lillard, Seth Green and Dax Shepard who have great chemistry together. Sure the film is fairly stupid in parts but that is partly what’s great about it. I like it and would recommend to anyone with some time to fill who’s looking for something funny that is easy to digest.

Film 19/365, Day 20/365 – Triangle

The story follows waitress/single mum Jess, played by Melissa George, who goes sailing with a group of friends off the coast of Florida. A freak storm capsizes the boat leaving them stranded out at sea, then out of nowhere a mysterious ocean liner appears. They climb aboard where it quickly becomes apparent that all is not as it should be. Unfortunately there isn’t too much to say about the story without giving it away.

Triangle was one of those films that I had recorded from the TV without really knowing anything about it. That was in October 2010. A couple times I had toyed with the idea of just deleting it to free up some space on my V+ box. I can’t tell how glad I am that I didn’t. I thoroughly enjoyed Triangle and would highly recommend it to anyone. Melissa George is fantastic and the story is gripping and brilliantly portrayed. As soon as you think you know what is happening, forget about it, something else happens and you are right back where you started.

Film 18/365, Day 18/365 – The Terminator

Sarah Connor doesn’t kow it yet but she will be responsible for humanity’s last hope in the war against the machine army. All she’s got to do is stay alive. To make that a little trickier than it should be a cyborg has been sent back in time to 1984 to kill her. Now she needs to rely on Kyle Reese, a soldier sent back to protect her by her son that she hasn’t yet had.

I wasn’t sure how The Terminator would stack up after all this time but it was excellent and an example of how to make an action film. There is enough story to grab your attention and keep you interested, but not at the expense of the action which is non-stop from the very beginning. Arnold Schwarzenegger is fantastic as a bad guy, shame he didn’t get to do it more (nobody mention Mr. Freeze).

Film 17/365, Day 17/365 – Dumb and Dumber

Roommates Harry Christmas and Lloyd Dunn dream of one day owning their own pet store, We Got Worms, and attempt to keep a number of jobs to save up enough money. Unfortunately Harry and Lloyd are not doing too well. During Harry’s latest job as a limousine driver he meets Mary Swanson, a client he drives to the airport. Harry is instantly besotted and when Mary leaves a case at the airport he seeks to return the case to Mary and gain her favour.

In my mind there is no funnier film ever made than Dumb and Dumber. That’s quite the statement, but I stand by it. This film get’s funnier and funnier every time you watch it. I believe that Dumb and Dumber will always be funny, such is the quality of the jokes and impeccable delivery by Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels. Even when you think you think it can’t get any funnier, something even funnier awaits around the corner. Oh and the ending is the most fitting ending to a comedy ever.

Film 16/365, Day 16/365 – Silver Streak

George is going on a long distance train trip; he’s hoping to have some quiet time to himself to get some work done. He obviously didn’t count on meeting Hilly and then becoming embroiled in a murder investigation. Now he’s been thrown from the train, the law is after him and Hilly is in danger. Can George get back on the train in time to save Hilly?

Unlike the train, Silver Streak takes a little while before it really starts moving and it’s only really when Richard Pryor joins the fun that is really reaches full speed. Being mistakenly identified as a murderer seems to work well for Gene Wilder, see See No Evil, Hear No Evil for further proof, and he is his usual brilliant self. Definitely worth watching.

Film 15/365, Day 15/365 – I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Brooklyn firefighter Larry Valentine is determined to ensure his children are looked after should anything happen to him, but when his wife died he didn’t arrange for his children to be the beneficiary of pension. Desperate times call for desperate measures and as a result Larry convinces his friend and co-worker, Chuck, to enter into a civil partnership with him so that he can change his policy, the only problem is they are both straight and now the pensions department are investigating them for fraud. They are going to have to ‘gay this shit up’ if they are to avoid jail!

This is easily Adam Sandler’s best film since The Water Boy, and possibly one of his funniest. Ving Rhames is unbelievably funny; be prepared to see him as you would’ve never imagined. Basically the story is as predictable as they come, but the characters all work incredibly well together and make I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and very good film packed with real laugh-out-loud moments.

Film 14/365, Day 13/365 – Cronos

One day antiques dealer Jesus Gris discovers a small golden object hidden inside a statue. When he winds its key the golden object begins to move, then all of a sudden it grabbed his hand and begins to gorge on his blood. Jesus hides the object but soon he discovers that there are people looking for it, people who will do anything to get hold of it.

Cronos is Guillermo del Toro’s first feature film and has all of the hallmarks of his work. It is beautifully shot and the use of music is exceptional, turning scenes of horror to sorrow. The story is compelling and keeps you watching and waiting. It is not quite as good as Pan’s Labaryth, although that was a truly exceptional film, but whether you are a del Toro fan or not you should enjoy this.

Film 13/365, Day 12/365 – Young Frankenstein

Gifted neurosurgeon Dr Fredrick Frankenstein is visited by a man who tells him that his late Grandfather had left him everything in his will. Dr Frankenstein soon finds himself in Transylvania and the old family castle, somewhere he never thought he would find himself. Well it’s not too long before he is picking up where his Grandfather left off, grave robbing and attempting to create life!

Young Frankenstein, unfortunately, has not aged quite as well as some of Mel Brooks other films. There are some very good moments, but there is a lot that is sadly by today’s standards not that funny. It may be that most of the gags have been done to death, although Mel was probably the first to do it. Gene Wilder is his usual brilliant self and along with Marty Feldman as Igor they are probably the main reason to watch. Sadly it was ok, but not great.

Film 12/365, Day 11/365 – Mad Max

Not too far from now, or 1979 when it was originally released, in a world that is falling apart and what is left of it is being held apart by a small police force. In this world the most dangerous place is the roads and with supercharged cars the police patrol and protect people from the crazed gangs that have sprung up. Max is one such police man and when his friends and family are targeted by the gangs he takes it very personally!

I see where Top Gear got their inspiration from. Fast high powered cars racing around at break neck speeds, some dodgy hair styles and a caravan is wrecked in the first ten minutes. Mad Max is still a good film today, and whilst the music is a little over the top, well, that’s how they used to do it. It is well worth watching and I am now going to have to keep an eye out for the two sequels.

Film 11/365, Day 9/365 – Cars

For Lightning McQueen the Piston Cup is all that matters, and in his rookie season he is tied for first place with two other racers. To decide the winner a special race is organised in California. On his way there Lightning accidently ends up in Radiator Springs, a small desert town, where he might just learn that there is more to life than racing. Will Lightning be able to leave Radiator Spring and make it to the race in time?

Will Pixar ever get it wrong? It doesn’t look like it! Cars is by no means as strong as Wall-E, Toy Story or The Incredibles, but is still thoroughly enjoyable and a very good movie. The wonderful thing about Pixar films is that the characters are always so fantastic, so much so that you almost forget that it’s animated, which is always flawless by the way!

Film 10/365, Day 8/365 – Back to the Future

Marty McFly meets the Doc in the middle of the night to document his latest invention, a time travelling DeLoreon! Attacked by Libyan terrorist Marty escapes back in time to 1955. There he accidently stops his parents from meeting and falling in love. Now with the help of the Doc from 1955 he must make his parents fall in love and get back to the future.

Well, what is there to possibly say about Back to the Future? Surely by now everyone should have seen it and should know exactly how great a film it is, and still is today. If you haven’t seen it then Back to the Future should be the next film you see. It was also recently voted the best film from the 1980s and is a part of my ‘80s Mini Challenge. Basically it doesn’t get much better than this!

Film 9/365, Day 6/365 – Flash Gordon

The Earth is under attack from a mysterious force from outer space. With only days before the Moon crashes into the Earth destroying it completely, Earth’s only hope is the New York Jets quarterback Flash Gordon. Can Flash unit the kingdoms of Mongo to rise up against Ming the Merciless or is the Earth destined for destruction?

Without a doubt Flash Gordon was one of my favourite films as a child and I’m glad to say that the magic has not been lost since then. Admittedly it is cheesy, but it’s supposed to be. The original comic book was made in the 1930s and the film retains the full flavour of the era. I think Flash Gordon can continue to entertain for years, even decades, to come. And everybody knows the theme tune!

Film 8/365, Day 5/365 – Tremors

Earl and Valentine are a couple of handymen who work and live in Perfection Nevada, a small town in the middle of nowhere with a population of 14. Well, it was 14, but now it’s shrinking and fast as something under the desert floor is eating them. Can Earl and Valentine make it out of Perfection in one piece?

I remember watching Tremors as a teenager and it’s probably what first got me interested in horror-comedy films. The thing is I still think that Tremors should be used today as how a horror-comedy should be made. The characters are all brilliant and very believable. Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward are fantatic on the screen together. Also I love how the monster on the cover is not the monster in the film!!! Still one of the best horror-comedy films.

Film 7/365, Day 5/365 – The Big Boss

Originally known as Fists of Fury, The Big Boss follows the story of Cheng Chao-an who moves in with his cousins and joins them in working at the ice factory. When his cousins start to go missing Cheng begins to question the manager and in turn the big boss. Oh and to make things harder for Cheng he has taken an oath not to fight.

Whilst The Big Boss looks quite dated compared to kung fu films of present, which is understandable as it was made in 1971, Bruce Lee looks as cool and collected as ever. The fights scenes are excellent and there is even a spot of comedy whether indended or not. I refer to the scene where Bruce kicks a man through a wall leave a man shaped hole. Brilliant, but dated.

Film 6/365, Day 4/365 – The Incredibles

When Mr Incredible saves a man who has jumped off of a building he doesn’t expect it to be the beginning of the end for the superheroes. Following a number of large lawsuits against the superheroes the government forces them to giveup their costumes and return to normal life. But can Mr Incredible really become mild mannered Bob Parr full-time?

The Incredibles has everything that we have come to expect from Pixar, a fantastic mix of action and comedy. Whilst the main characters are all excellent, it’s the smaller characters that seem to steal the show from the utterly brilliant Edna E’Mode fashion designer for superheroes to Samuel L Jackson’s Frozone. This film is Incredible (sorry)!

Film 5/365, Day 3/365 – Iron Man 2

Tony Stark has just declared that he is the Iron Man and before he has a chance to enjoy it the government is trying to force him to turn over the technology. This is just the start of Tony’s problems. The technology that is keeping him alive is starting to kill him and a son of his father’s former colleague is looking for revenge. Plus Tony still likes a drink or two!

Whilst Iron Man 2 doesn’t quite have the wow factor that the first film had, even with the addition of Scarlett Johansson, it is still a very enjoyable film. It also helps to further set the stage for the Avengers film in which is due to be release in 2012 following on from Thor and Captain America. Iron Man 2 is definitely worth watching whether you are a comic book fan or not.

Film 4/365, Day 2/365 – Armour of God

The Asian Hawk’s ex-girlfriend is kidnapped by a shadowy organisation, evil monks in black robes who show us how bad guys should wear their eyebrows!!! To get her back the Asian Hawk must retrieve the three remaining pieces of the Armour of God that will enable the evil organisation to destroy the one true god.

Armour of God starts with an excellent scene where the Asian Hawk, Jackie Chan, steals a sword from an African tribe. After that however it slows down until the end of the film. Whilst the action scenes are definitely worth waiting for, the transitions are very slow. If you like martial arts films or Jackie Chan then this is one you should see, if not you might get bored.

Film 3/365, Day 1/365 – StreetDance

When Carly’s boyfriend and leader of her street dance crew unexplicably leaves her and the dance crew shortly after qualifying for the UK finals, Carly is left to pick up the pieces. With no space to train an unlikely offer appears from Helena, a prestigous ballet teacher. All the studio time they could ever want, just one catch… include her ballet students in her crew.

If you are looking for an engaging story or an interesting plot then forget it you will find neither here. However StreetDance does offer an excellent sound track and some fantastic dancing. So if you just want to be entertained with music and dancing then you can’t go far wrong here. So leave your brain at the door and you might just enjoy it.

Film 2/365, Day 1/365 – Knight and Day

June Havens is travelling home for her sister’s wedding.  On her flight she thinks she has found the man of her dreams, but she’s in for a shock.  He’s a secret agent who’s being hunted by his own organisation and now they think she’s involved.  Who do you trust when everyone says that they are the good guys?

Knight and Day is an action comedy with much more of an emphasis on the comedy.  There is plenty of action and the fight scenes are more in fitting with Jackie Chan’s style of films, which is not a bad thing.  I think that this is a good film to watch with the misses, it’s got enough to keep both parties entertained, whilst neither will hate it, neither will probably love it either.  It’s just a little bit of fun!

Film 1/365, Day 1/365 – Salt

Evelyn Salt is a field agent for the CIA, but everything changes when a Russian defector shows up unannounced.  He reveals some far fetched stories and then tells them that a Russian sleeper agent will assassinate the Russian President attending a funeral.  Then he finally reveals the name of the Russian sleeper agent… Evelyn Salt!

If I’m completely honest, and I have no reason not to be, Salt was a good fun film however it felt like it was missing something… and I’m still not quite sure what.  It had lots of action, plenty of twists and turns, some more obvious than others, but enough to keep you interested.  Although I still can’t shake this feeling that it hasn’t really ended…

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Everyone should have got the last one.  That was Guy Ritchie's infamous Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels starring Jason Statham and Nick Moran, not to mention an excellent appearance of Vinnie Jones!  This next film is without a doubt going to feature in Film Year, but can you name it from the images?

Post your answer in the comments.